¡Hola a todos!
Wow, this week has been a wild ride haha. I can already tell this email is going to be a long one, so I'll separate it into two sections: the large plates, and the small plates. :)
The large plates contain a more secular record of my experiences, including details about my district, my schedule, my classes, and how much back pain I have from sitting in a chair all day.
The small plates will contain a more spiritual history of my experiences, ''For I desire the room that I may write the things of God. For the fullness of my intent is that I may persuade men to come unto the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and be saved. Wherefore, the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world.''
The Large Plates
An account of Hermana Daugs' sufferings on the first day. Her change in attitude. An introduction to Distrito 3D and the trío poderoso. Her technical difficulties in the CCM. Classes, workshops, and busy days.
Day 1. What a rollercoaster. We started off the day with some technical difficulties, meaning class started 45 minutes late. And THEN, the only other American hermana in my district got moved to another district. She reached out to me and told me that she got moved because our district was going to do 3 weeks online, but she had flight plans from the church to go to the Mexico City CCM. Here's the catch... so did I. I tried reaching out to literally anyone who could help me know if I was in the right place or if I needed to move to another district too. Long story short: it was an emotional rollercoaster, and very stressful because I don't speak enough Spanish to figure out something so specific and so crucial. After many tears, much stress, and a missed CCM class, we came to the conclusion that the church travel department had a miscommunication and they bought me tickets to Mexico City by accident. And then told me that's where I was headed by accident. And confirmed when we called the CCM to check... oh well haha.
Have no fear! Every day after day 1 was MUCH BETTER. Was it all smooth sailing? Absolutely not. But it was still good :) My district is so SO fun, and they're very patient with my Spanish haha. They're all native Spanish speakers, from Mexico, Honduras, or Guatemala. Their accents can be difficult to understand, depending on the missionary, but I'm getting used to them. For the record: The way Hondurans speak is muy bonita. I stinkin love the Honduran's accent. Also, my district says I speak very very good spanish! I don't know how much I believe them but it certainly makes me feel better. There's 3 companionships of elders and a trio of us sisters.
Also. My compañeras? They're pretty much the best. Our trio is a HOOT. They're both super happy people and we all get along great. They're super good at helping me work on my Spanish every day, although they don't know how to teach me to roll my r's. I've been trying for 5 years and still can't get it haha. I'm honestly just praying that I have it figured out by the end of my mission. They're also supposed to learn a bit of English, so I taught them the alphabet and how to pray. They already knew a little bit from school, but it's just things like "hello" and "how are you" and "I don't understand" haha. Yesterday we were getting to know each other a little better and Hermana Barrios asked how tall each of us are. It turns out I'm the tallest. Yes, you read that right. Perks of having Hispanic companions I guess haha. Hermana Villegas cracked a joke about how we're like Thing 1 and Thing 2 (and Thing 3) from The Cat in The Hat, so now we call ourselves cosas uno, dos, y tres. It's a chaotic trio for sure, but a powerful one too (and a bilingual one (; ).
Classes have been good, although there have certainly been some technical difficulties. The connection during my afternoon class is pretty bad, which is especially unfortunate for me because I already have a hard time understanding what my teacher is saying even when the connection is good. When I can only hear every other word she's saying? oof. That's tricky stuff right there.
Most days we have Workshops with the whole CCM and those are one of my favorite parts of my day. There are Spanish, English, and Creole speaking missionaries (all learning Spanish) in the CCM, and for the workshops, we're all together. (we don't hear from the creole missionaries much) There's an option on Zoom to listen to an interpreter, who just puts everything that's not in your language, in your language. I honestly prefer to listen without interpretations because sometimes they're choppy or delayed. Plus, my little bilingual brain THRIVES when the workshops are in English one moment, and Spanish the next. Spanglish is the language my brain thinks in haha.
Some of my Spanish progress:
- day 1: I chimed in in the district group chat to see if they had any ideas about my flight fiasco
- day 2: listened to my 1st workshop entirely in spanish, and language study with my companions!
- day 3: hermana barrios' accent is getting easier to understand. Elder Martínez has the BEST accent. prayed in Spanish in front of my compañeras!
- day 4: 1st spiritual thought in front of my class! they said my spanish was good and they all applauded (virtually) after I was done. If they really did understand, I give full credit to the gift of tongues haha. It's way easier to speak spanish when I'm bearing my testimony or talking about Christ. WE memorized a bunch of required material in Spanish. We had our first role-play appointment and it didn't go according to our plan (because appointments rarely will) but it went well.
- day 5: I answered the question ''why was the restoration in the United States'' for my class, and they all loved what I had to say about my country
. I was in charge of the spiritual thought for our devotional again and it went well. Hna. Rodriguez said my spanish was perfect. I also prayed in front of our whole class!
I could go on and on about what I do every day in the CCM, but it sufficeth me to say: WOW. I sure am busy.
The Small Plates
Her growth and perspective. A lesson in self-compassion and an application of the words of Ammon in the Book of Mormon.
Lesson 1: Self Compassion.
For those of you who know me well, you know I am a perfectionist. I don't like to do or try something unless I know I can do it well. And if I'm trying something new, I'm going to put my whole heart and soul into it so I can do the very best I can. Is this a good thing? Well, it depends. At times it's nice because I do a good job at a lot of things, and because of that, I get good grades, I have strengthened many of my talents, and I rarely embarrass myself. But, at other times, it's bad. I don't like to be vulnerable in my imperfections. I don't like when other people see my weaknesses or failures. I don't like to let people down by doing a sub-par job. And if I mess up, sometimes I really beat myself up.
The best way to exercise self compassion is to treat yourself how you would treat a struggling companion. Be patient. Encourage them. Help them understand that progress takes time. Helping others is something I can definitely do. If I see someone struggling, I can reach out my hand. Be there to listen. Give them the best advice I have given the things I have experienced and learned. So, surely I can do the same for myself, right?
I've really really been trying to put this concept into practice this week, especially in terms of my Spanish progress. Before my mission, my perspective was ''If I just study enough now, I'll be super awesome at Spanish by the time I start my mission, and no one will have to see me fail.'' In having this mindset, I was setting myself up for disappointment and had I chosen to stay in that mindset, it's likely I would have never spoken up in class, told them I won't pray, and honestly maybe I would have quit. I have a long long way to go in my Spanish journey, and if I thought I had to tackle it all in the first week, or even in my entire time at the CCM, I would have been overwhelmed and felt utterly incapable.
When we introduced ourselves on the first day, I included a little bit about why I know Spanish, and that I'm definitely still learning it. They were all so compassionate and encouraging and that is exactly what I needed, and they've continued to be sincerely patient all week. Later on in the week we were talking about a talk from this last conference: Becoming More in Christ: The Parable of the Slope. In this talk, Elder Gilbert shares that what's important isn't where we are, but the direction we are headed. This life isn't about BEING. It's about BECOMING. And becoming is a lifetime pursuit.
If we can become just 1% better each day, the results at the end of a week will be encouraging. The results at the end of a year will be astounding. The results at the end of a lifetime will be a witness of our diligent and successful efforts to become more like Christ.
This discussion with my district was empowering. It's led to a bit of a motto for my personal CCM experience. Poco a poco, or little by little. I'm growing. Steadily and surely. Every ounce of growth needs to be celebrated and that joy can then be used to strengthen us for the next 1% of our growth.
Lesson 2: A Personal Application of Alma 26:16
Alma 26:16:
''Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.''
When Ammon wants to share how he feels about the Lord, he's so full of joy and overcome with emotion, and he doesn't know how to properly express the feelings of his soul. I can relate. I sometimes feel that there aren't words in English that could possibly describe the love I feel for my Savior, and the love I know He has for me. And this sentiment has become increasingly more pertinent as I try to express my testimony in Spanish. I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.
But, like Ammon, I will share what I can and leave the rest up to the Spirit. My joy is FULL. I will praise my God FOREVER. I am eternally grateful for our merciful Savior and his infinite Atonement.
This church is true. Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love each of us individually and infinitely. I share these things with you in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, amen.
