So come what may

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Sad goodbyes, good hellos! Lots of chaos this week but lots of good things are happening here in Buena Ventura!

A very good, very chaotic week!

It was our last p-day as a district, and my last one with Hermana Morris, so we really tried to make the most of it!! We had a nerf war for old times sake, played some good ole Gatorball, had a water balloon fight, and played some beach volleyball! I love this district with all my heart. These missionaries hold a special place in my heart and they will for a very long time. 

I'm going to miss Hermana Morris so much. I feel like I haven't written very much about her in my emails but you guys should know: she's one of my favorite people on planet earth. She's one of the best friends I've ever had and I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to serve with and learn from her. She has such a light about her and she loves the people around her so much. Whatever Christlike attribute you could think of, she exemplifies almost perfectly. I'm super excited for her to serve in her new area! At this point I have no idea how it's going, but I'm sure she's already changing lives over in New Smyrna Beach!

I picked up my new missionary on Tuesday! Her name is Hermana Jackson and she is super sweet! She's from Colorado Springs and she was a Marketing Major at BYU, so our business major brains work very well together haha. She learned French in school, so the Spanish is definitely something new for her but she's taking it like a champ. She learns super quick and isn't afraid to try new things. Except food haha. She's been vegetarian for like 10 years. She's like me and doesn't really like meat, but she just actually committed to not liking it and became vegetarian. She's going to try eating new foods while she's out here but it's definitely going to be a change for her. It'll be a challenge for me too because I also don't eat much meat haha. I'm excited for this transfer though! She's very nice and super hard working, so I think we're going to be able to get a lot done!

Also, we have some incredible people we're teaching right now! Our highlight for this week is definitely Pamela and Luis' family! I don't know if I already wrote about how we found them, but one of the senior missionaries met Luis at the gym in our apartment complex and it turns out Pamela and Luis live in our very building! We went over there for a lesson on Hermana Jackson's first night and it was so good! We read some of the Book of Mormon with them and then they wanted us to stay and make arepas haha. It turned out that they didn't have any corn flour so they were going to order it from a Publix and have it shipped there but we told them we had some in our apartment, so we left their place super quick and got our flour and then came back and cooked dinner with them! They're so sweet and so open minded and open hearted. I'm really excited for them. They also came to stake conference this week! It was super crazy to coordinate translations for them and Stake conference in general was just one of the most chaotic experiences of my mission haha. 

Conference was so good though!! They talked a lot about the temple which was really good because then we were able to take Pamela and her family next door to the temple to talk about what we do there and to walk around the grounds. Pamela was so astounded by everything we do in our church and just blown away that she didn't know sooner. She grew up in the gospel, just in a bunch of different churches. So she has a ton of faith she just hasn't seen this kind of organization and structure before. And she's never heard of temples before. She's super excited to learn more and I can't wait to keep teaching her! Also, Sister Ashcraft wants to join in on a lesson with us sometime this week so that would be awesome! This family has lots of potential:)

This week has definitely been one of the toughest of my mission, or of my life haha. There was just a lot going on and a lot I was responsible for, because I'm training. Anything Hermana Jackson doesn't know, she doesn't know because I haven't taught her. I had some really high expectations for myself and high expectations for what was going to happen outside of my control, and those expectations haven't all been met. It turns out, I need to 1)stop expecting more of myself than what God expects of me, which is my best and nothing more and 2) stop setting expectations for things that are out of my control. But genuinely though, I still am super happy! Chaos can be tough when it's too much, but we're definitely at a point where it's manageable and we can work together to help the area progress! I'm excited to see what comes next!

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So come what may

It's always so interesting to look back on my study journal from the week as I try to decide what to share in my email, because there is always a theme. 

This week I started off in Mosiah 15. The verse that stood out most to me was verse 7, that says, "the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father." I love this verse because it really illustrates what it means to submit your will to His. Our desires should be completely swallowed up in our desire to do the will of the Father. 

Later in the week, I stumbled upon Mosiah 24:17. "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

When I read the first verse, toward the beginning of the week, I honestly felt overwhelmed. I would love to say I'm 100% ready to submit my will to the Father's. And I would love to say that doesn't scare me at all. 

But that would be a lie. 

Giving up my will completely? That terrifies me. I don't feel ready for that. At all.

I have a lot of goals and dreams and expectations for myself and for others, and it's hard for me to be willing to let that go. I kind of had a bad mindset at the beginning of the week, honestly. I let myself get overwhelmed by the idea of submitting my will to His.

So stumbling across that second verse honestly saved me. I don't have to put all the pressure on myself. My Heavenly Father is here to help me. Not only will He ease my burdens. He will give me the strength I need to carry the burdens He's going to allow me to carry. 

This concept has unintentionally been a part of my personal study every day this week. And I'm so grateful. 

One thing I've definitely learned out here in Orlando is that if God wants me to learn something, He will find a way to teach me. 

This week, He taught me that I am capable if I am willing. 

The lesson He's been teaching me can best be summarized by a line from the concluding hymn at Stake Conference. A line which anyone who knows me well would know moved me to tears:

"I believe in Christ, so come what may."

Companion 4- Hermana Maggie Jackson

 Companion 4- Hermana Maggie Jackson

From Colorado Springs, Colorado

 March 21, 2022- July 25, 2022

Area: Buena Ventura

*Training*

What is truth?

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The new family we're teaching, service at the Salvation Army, brunch, transfer news and member meals

As far as pday goes, we didn't really do anything too notable haha. It was still super fun though! We played games at the park and I got some Jersey Mike's and I got a ball out of a tree so the Elders all called me Hermana Squirrel haha.

We started teaching a super cute family this week! Pamela & Luis and their kids!! They actually live in our apartment building haha. They just moved in so when we went over they didn't even have furniture yet! We stood by the kitchen counter and just talked about faith and got to know them! They're really cute.

Our weekly service at the Bishops storehouse got canceled because there weren't enough orders. We were pretty sad about it because Storehouse is super fun and Elder Holladay, the manager, is one of the best human beings on this planet. Also it would be the last time this transfer! We called up a member of the stake who does a ton of service to see if he could hook us up with something. He coordinated with the Salvation Army and we got to go make a thousand sandwiches for them to give to the homeless! It was super fun and the best part was when Elder Holladay showed up!! He had some food from the Storehouse that he needed to give them. They told us they needed help unloading a truck and when we went over Elder Holladay was there! It made my whole day, and everyone else's too. 

We invited Elder Holladay to come to lunch with us! We went to a cute brunch place and I had a super yummy waffle. At the beginning, Elder Holladay excused himself to go wash his hands and apparently while he was up he told the waitress he was going to buy all of our food. We were all super surprised at the end when we asked for our checks and the waitress said he had already paid! He's too nice & now we owe him one haha. I don't know if I've already mentioned this but Elder Holladay is going to be the new Orlando Temple President starting this summer! I'm excited to be able to go to the temple and know the president so personally.

Also a side note: the same day Elder Holladay paid for our lunch a nice lady paid for our ice cream! We were very surprised because that just doesn't happen in Florida haha.

This Friday we got transfer news! We got a call from President Ashcraft at around 10 a.m. and he told Hermana Morris that she's going to be moving all the way across the mission to be a Sister Training Leader in an English area. We were so blown away. We had a few predictions for where she could possibly go but that was not one of them haha. She's going to do so good! I'm very excited for her. And she gets to live by the beach!!

As for me, I will be staying here in Buena Ventura and I will be TRAINING! I'm super excited!! It's going to be a lot of responsibilities and a lot of pressure, but it's going to be a lot of fun. I still don't know who my trainee is, I'll find out Tuesday morning when I meet her!!

On Saturday, we ate so much food. We had a member meal at 1:30 (where I ate enough food to last me a whole day), another at 4:30, and another at 6. I thought I might die. I changed dresses between the first two so I could wear a dress with pockets. Why? So I could put a zip lock bag in each pocket and put food in them when people weren't looking haha. (Shoutout to Aunt Rachie for the idea) I left the second meal with ⅓ of a burrito in my pocket haha. We got to the third meal a little late but it ended up being okay because the member forgot she was supposed to feed us haha. This meal was with the Elders too and they got there first, fully expecting and hoping for a meal. This member is kind of a crazy old lady so she forgets and gets distracted a ton. She said it was nice to meet me for the first time even though I've talked to her almost every Sunday for 4 and a half months haha. Needless to say, I was grateful she forgot about feeding us cause I thought I might throw up right then and there. And we had leftovers in the car for the Elders' dinner haha.

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What is truth?

This week in my studies, I learned a lot about truth. About what it is, and how to find it, and why it matters. 

There's an old story about a bunch of blind men trying to find the truth. They come across an elephant and do their best to make sense of what they observe. One man, grabbing the tail, notes that an elephant is like a rope. Another man, touching the trunk, determines an elephant is like a large snake. The third man runs into the leg and concludes an elephant is like a tree. The last man finds the tusk and is certain an elephant is like a spear. 

Are any of them wrong? No. Are any of them right? Absolutely not. So how should they find out the whole truth? 

They could discuss their observations and come to a more informed conclusion. They might determine that an elephant is like a tree with a rope hanging from an unreachable branch. Or that it was like a large snake holding a spear. Those conclusions might be more accurate, but they still aren't the whole truth.

This is how relative truth works. We, as humans, are incapable of understanding everything there is to know. But as we observe more of the world around us, the things we do understand become more true. As we learn more about the human body, or about human nature, our truth changes. As we learn more about the universe, our truth changes. 

There's a difference between relative truth and absolute truth, though. Relative truth changes as we come to understand more. Absolute truth doesn't change. Ever. 

In the case of our story, the absolute truth would be this: "an elephant is an elephant." 

No matter what the blind men observe about it, it will always be an elephant. 

We can increase our understanding of relative truths by discussing with other people their conceptions of truth. But if we want to understand the absolute truth, we need to ask someone who knows the whole story. Those blind men would be better off asking a person who can see the whole elephant. 

They can still make their own observations of the elephant after the seeing man told them what it was. But their observations wouldn't change the truth. It would just strengthen their belief in the absolute truth. 

The same concept applies for us. We can talk with as many other people as we want about what is true. We will certainly learn more by doing so. But we will never know the whole truth until we ask the Creator of Truth. 

There are so many absolute truths that are essential to understand to have happiness in this life and the life to come. 

I could list a hundred absolute truths we should know, but for the sake of illustrating the principle at hand, I want you to think about this question:

Do you know that God loves you?

Any person could try to articulate God's love, but no human definition or explanation will ever amount to the witness that comes straight from the source. If we ask God if He loves us, He'll tell us the absolute truth. Spoiler alert: the answer is YES. But don't take the evidence from me. Go ask Him. He knows better than I do, anyway. 

And then once you have received the absolute truth through the Spirit, every observation you make from that point forward won't change the truth. Rather, it will increase your understanding of the truth. 

The truth won't change because of you. But you will change because of the truth. 

You'll see something beautiful and you'll remember something you already know. God loves you. 

You'll receive an answer to a prayer and you'll remember. God loves you. 

You'll meet someone who will change your life and you'll remember. God loves you.

There's so many things in this life that testify of the most important absolute truth there is. 

God loves you. And that will never change. 

Saying goodbye to Hermana Morris in the last Sunday in the 

Buena Ventura Ward. 

Apple trees and the Lord's vineyard

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Rain, lightning, interviews, service, and portuñol.

Such a good week!! Pday was fun as always. We played some basketball and gaga ball in the church gym and then went thrift shopping. I found my new favorite shirt! I've already worn it a few times this week haha. We ended the day with a barbecue and some water games.

As far as missionary work goes, we did a lot of knocking this week. It can be draining sometimes but we've had a lot of good come from it! Plus another cool thing is that we can do some Facebook work before we go out knocking, and then by the time we're done knocking we have a lot of people who have responded to us!

We also had interviews with President Ashcraft this week! He's so awesome. He's such an incredible example for each of us and it's always so good to be able to talk to him. He gave me a lot of good advice and I'm pumped for next transfer!

We also went on exchanges this week! Hermana Morris stayed in our area and I went to a different area. We did service for most of the day. We started off at a food bank which was so chaotic and crazy but it was a good time! And I got to see like 20 other missionaries, including some I hadn't seen for a while. We also went and helped one of the members in their ward prepare for a birthday party, so I got to do some painting which was fun! And then we were knocking for a little while and I got to speak portuñol (portuguese & español)! We met a lady who spoke portuguese and I told her I'm trying to learn portuguese but I speak Spanish (I said all of this in portuguese) and then she told me she spoke Spanish too! She started to speak Spanish but it became very evident that she didn't actually speak Spanish haha. So basically I talked to her in Spanish, but I used as many Portuguese words as I could. And then she spoke Portuguese and used as many Spanish words as possible haha. It was fun!

Also the weather has been CRAZY. We had some awesome lightning and there was a tornado here in Central Florida. Not Orlando though don't worry! I love this kind of weather though. Rain is so fun (even though it makes my hair super crazy haha) and the lightning is incredible. Add that to the list of reasons why Florida is the best.

Yesterday was a really good Sunday! All 3 of our recent converts came to church! It was the best. I wouldn't ask for anything more. All I want for them is to stay strong in the church for the rest of their lives. Andres got to go to young mens this week which was such a miracle because they can't normally stay for the second hour. 

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Apple trees and the Lord's vineyard 

This week I read in Jacob 5 about the allegory of the tame and wild olive trees. Every time I read that chapter I can't help but think of my grandpa and his apple orchard. Today I want to draw a few parallels between the vineyard and the orchard because it really helped me deepen my understanding of this chapter:)

"The Lord of the vineyard said unto his servant: Come, let us go down into the vineyard, that we may labor in the vineyard." 

In other words, Grandpa would never send the grandkids out to work alone. He always worked alongside us. Hand in hand. Sure, maybe there were days when he'd have Addison climb the tree, but grandpa would always be the one deciding which branches to trim. 

The same goes for our work in the Lord's vineyard. This work is important. This work is the gathering of Israel. He's not going to require us to do it alone. He will be at our side at every moment. Sure, we might be the ones with our feet on the ground. But He's guiding us in every step of His work. 

"The servant said unto his master: How comest thou hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard. And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not; I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit."

Sometimes we would wonder why Grandpa did things the way he did. Some of his ideas were downright crazy. But in time, he always seemed to prove us wrong. He knew what he was doing. And his orchard has become beautiful because of the time and care he gave to each plant. If he had left it up to us, or his kids back in the day, to decide which plants to keep, we'd only have a fraction of the orchard we have today. 

Ultimately, it's not up to us to decide which fruit is worth cultivating, to decide which people deserve to become a part of gathered Israel. It is our responsibility to give everyone the opportunity to hear the message of this gospel. Then it is in the hands of the Lord. He will do what He knows is best for each of His children. We just need to be willing to be instruments in His hands.

"Go to, and labor in the vineyard, with your might... and if ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself"

What was everyone's favorite part of working in the orchard? The apples, of course. They were a snack while we worked, a drink at the end of the day, a pie on a Sunday evening, and food storage in case of hard times. Grandpa wanted everyone to enjoy the fruits of his orchard. 

And the same goes for us in the Lord's vineyard. We don't have to be a part of this work just out of obligation, or even out of love (which love should be more than enough motivation). We are promised joy as we participate. 

"And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!"

I've already tasted of the joy that comes from the work of gathering Israel. And I know the joy I feel is nothing compared to that joy I will feel in the presence of my Father. And my only wish would be for each of you to be able to feel of this joy. I love missionary work so much. I have genuinely never been happier in my entire life. And I know there is no greater cause on this earth today. So my invitation to you is to grab your work boots and come join us in the orchard. Go to the temple. Share your testimony with someone, or with your social media followers. Prepare to serve a mission. Keep serving diligently if you are already out in the field. Raise your kids in a gospel centered home. Live in a way that will help others to feel Christ's love through you. Whatever role the Lord has for you in His vineyard, my only hope is that you will be ready and willing to do His work and submit to His will. 

Sisters pday, arepas as a district, awesome lessons, workout updates, member meals, and a BAPTISM!!

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Sisters pday, arepas as a district, awesome lessons, workout updates, member meals, and a BAPTISM!!

Another good week! I hate to say it again but this week really did fly by. I feel like I was just writing that same thing in my email like 2 days ago haha. Pday was fun! We got a bunch of sister missionaries together and got our nails done and went shopping and got smoothie bowls. After we did all that we went to have a barbecue with the Elders but it started pouring rain out of nowhere so we just got soaked instead haha.

We taught our district how to make arepas! We all had lunch together after district council and it was such a good time. Also it turns out Elder Jensen wants to open an arepa truck at BYUI so we decided to just make a chain of food trucks together haha. All of my post-mission dreams include arepas for some reason.

We had a couple of really awesome lessons this week! We had our first in-person lesson with Ana and her boys. Those boys are so smart. They're just a super sweet family. Also we started teaching this lady named Iris! It's cool because that's my grandma's name. (Hi grandma! I know you're reading this so I thought I'd throw in a shout-out for you and grandpa. Love you both. We also had a super powerful video call with our new friend Osman. I won't go into too much detail but essentially he has heard of baptism and the Holy Ghost before but has never really known what they are. We taught him about them and told him the spirit would confirm to him the truthfulness of our message and it would tell him if he needed to be baptized. We could tell he was very impacted by what we said. He sat back in his seat and basically just said "wow." The spirit was so strong and we could tell he was feeling it too. He was physically impacted by it. He could hardly hold still. I don't know how to describe it but it was awesome!

We've been trying to get more exercise because our morning workouts consist of going on a slow paced walk with a senior missionary and we don't want to make her feel bad by stopping the walks, so we haven't gotten any cardio or strength training in months. But! We moved our dinner hour to the last hour of the day one day and we decided to go on a run before we ate! It was so refreshing to get real exercise. Later that night our District leader suggested we all work out in the church gym the next morning… Long story short, I'm sore but I'm sleeping so well! 

We went to dinner with a member from a different ward at this yummy Mexican place! Hes funny but he's crazy. Also he got bit by a shark. No joke his arm is all messed up now. Also we ate at a different members house and he fed us blood sausage so that was fun...

Also Liduvi (the knocking miracle from a month or so ago) came to church! And Fransis and her boys! They're all so awesome and I'm excited to see them progress. 

The highlight of the week was ANDRES' BAPTISM!!! He's such a sweet kid and he really wanted to be baptized. It's been a long time coming. He's super smart and really good at the piano! Also he wanted spicy cheetos at his baptism so you KNOW we bought him some. Also those yummy sugar cookies with the frosting and sprinkles. His baptism was a little chaotic cause the primary was having an activity in the room we needed to use but it all worked out!

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Where can I find happiness?

We've had a couple of lessons with this guy named Robin. He used to be a professional soccer player in Venezuela but he got hurt and hasn't had good luck in his soccer career since. It's a sad story. 

But the saddest part is that his entire life has been consumed by his disappointment. It's all he thinks about. With every principle we teach him, he interrupts to tell us more about how he could be famous but he's not. He even interrupted us when we were talking about Joseph Smith's first vision. We said something like "and he decided to pray. When he prayed, he had a really cool experience." Robin interrupted to say he thinks he's had really cool experiences from when he was a professional soccer player that Joseph Smith would like to hear. Long story short we didn't teach much of a lesson, we just let him rant. 

But the central theme of his rants is always the emptiness he feels because his expectations were unmet. He says he feels like there's a hole in his heart that he doesn't know how to feel. 

He would never let us talk long enough to suggest that maybe the emptiness he feels isn't going to be filled by fame and soccer, like he hopes. Hopefully we'll be able to tell him soon. 

The idea behind this thought isn't really about Robin though. It's about what I learned from him. Or rather, what I learned through him. 

The only source of true and lasting happiness is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Any happiness we find through worldly things is temporary. Even professional soccer players who don't have career-ending injuries have to end their career sooner or later due to old age. Any worldly success we want can only bring us happiness for a time.

But the gospel of Jesus Christ will always bring us joy. It brings children joy as they sing songs about prophets and rainbows and Jesus. It brings young adults like me joy because it gives us direction and strength in this scary world. It brings parents joy as they raise their children in faith. It brings even the most elderly joy because they have no fear for the future. They have their families and know those families will be theirs forever.

If you're disappointed by unmet expectations, and feeling like something is missing, my best advice for you is to make a little more time in your life for Jesus. He always has and always will be the most constant source of joy in our lives. And all the other sources of joy we have ultimately come from Him too. Christ heals all wounds and all sorrows. He knows how we feel in any and every moment. And he knows how to help us through the tough stuff. We just need to turn to Him and allow Him to help us.