Sad goodbyes, joyous hellos, service, and Richard!
Another good week!
This week started off on kind of a sad note. Two of my very favorite members moved to Washington! Carmencita and Anivette I've eaten dinner at their house almost every Tuesday of my mission. They've definitely become some of my closest friends and what I would consider to be my mission family. I'm really excited for this new phase of their lives, but it's hard to see them go.
We also had one of our favorite friends move to Miami because of some hard things that are going on in her life personally, so that was also hard to deal with. Just because we love her so much and we didn't want her to be gone! But it's okay, she is doing a lot better and we can tell that God has his hand in her life!
On a different, but similar note, we had a big change in the mission as well! We got a new mission president!! President and Sister Schmeil are so amazing!! Of course, it was hard to see President and Sister Ashcraft leave the mission, but change is always for good. I'm really excited for this new phase of my mission with a new mission president. He has a lot of experience in the church and I can already tell that we're going to learn so much from him. He's also just such a cool person! He's originally from Brazil, and he actually served his mission in the Ogden, Utah mission! Then after his mission he came back to Utah to go to the University of Utah. His wife is also from Brazil, and she went to BYU. They've had a lot of callings in the church. Their most recent one was in Johannesburg, South Africa, because he was in the Area Presidency. President Schmiel actually met one of my best friends, Elder Petersen, because he was in the Area Presidency over the Botswana, Namibia mission! Such a small world! Oh also. The Schmiels have a kid living in Logan! I haven't gotten to know them super well yet, but I'm so excited to serve around them and learn from them. I can tell we're going to get along well!
We also went over to a sister in our ward's house to help her with some chores and to help her with her kids. She is in the relief society presidency, and her husband is in the bishopric, so they have a lot on their plate. Her kids are some of the cutest kids I know and both her and her husband are such incredible people and it was so fun to be able to serve them even just for a couple of hours!
We also had a really awesome lesson with our friend Richard! We have been teaching him for a while now, but he has been pretty hard to get in contact with because his work is so busy. His dad, who was a member, passed away not too long ago, so Richard became very interested in what his dad believed about eternity. We got to talking about the spirit world and Richard brought up the idea of baptism and said that he would but that he would want to be baptized if the opportunity were ever presented to him, so we presented him with the opportunity! He said that he would love to be baptized and we're really excited to help him prepare. Please keep him in your prayers so that he can have time to learn and understand all the things we will be teaching him, and so that he can be excited to be baptized!!
Also got to participate in a really incredible service project this week!! Our stake is so incredible you guys. They set up a service project with a few charities and we were able to make 60,000 meals in a few hours as part of the stake youth conference! Was so fun. They had music and they made it very motivating and fast paced and I would have loved to have been there all day. I don't think I will ever get over how incredible this stake is. The leadership is amazing and the opportunities that they give the members in the stake are awesome. I'm grateful that I have been able to serve in this stake for as long as I have. I genuinely would love to move here and be a part of it after my mission!
Small Plates
I don't have to be a Savior, but He wants me to be a cheerleader for those who forget they've been saved.
This week I came to realize something that I've realized before and I'm sure I will realize again: Everything has to do with the Atonement, and the Atonement has to do with everything.
I've been carrying a lot of burdens this week. My own as well as the burdens of others. As missionaries, we're equipped to help others carry their burdens. We're equipped because we're baptized members of the true church, and also because we're full time representatives of Jesus Christ. That's a pretty serious responsibility. It's an honor and a blessing to be trusted with such a responsibility, however difficult it may be. I don't want anyone to get worried as they read the following paragraph. I'm only sharing a sample of the burdens I've carried this week to illustrate a principle I want to teach. So that you can understand what variety and quantity of burdens I, a random missionary in Orlando, carried this week, I thought I'd give you a list:
Being cheated on by the man you wanted to marry.
Being the mother of a child with special needs, and not knowing how to help him.
Having to live with extended family and find ways to get along when you've honestly had enough of them.
Being addicted to pornography.
Having your family tell you they're moving across the country the very day they do so, leaving you, a 15 year old girl, to figure out what to do and which country you can live in, because you are an immigrant.
Watching your best friend cheat and not knowing how to help him or his poor girlfriend.
Financial insecurity.
Physical insecurity.
Distraction and temptation directly from the devil, that you don't know how to combat.
Loneliness.
Debilitating and relentless impatience.
Working a job that is basically slave labor.
Sleepless nights.
Discovering you have 4 brain tumors and you could have weeks left to live. And you're in your 20s. And you have a kid.
Moving to a new country.
Moving across the country.
Falling out of love with your partner.
Falling in love with someone who is unavailable.
Being unsure if God is real and if He knows you.
Sleeping on the streets with nothing to eat, with an air mattress that is deflated.
Suicidal thoughts.
Self harm.
Eating disorders.
Job insecurity.
Receiving a new calling that you feel completely inadequate to fulfill.
Watching a loved one leave the church.
Living in a country where you don't speak the language.
Rent prices are rising.
Gas prices are rising.
Uncertainty about the future.
I could keep going, but I won't.
My point is, there are a lot of people going through a lot of things right now.
As a missionary, and just as a nice human being, I've been trying really hard to help these people carry all of these burdens. But the fact of the matter is that I am not strong enough for that.
No matter how much people trust me with their burdens, if it's too heavy, it's too heavy. You could say you trust me, you could genuinely believe you trust me, with a 500 pound weight. But if you handed it over to me I would drop it immediately.
So what am I trying to say here?
Christ carried them all.
He carried all of those burdens and more, multiplied by billions. He felt all that pain. All that sorrow. All that grief. He felt it all.
But why?? Why would He do that?
"That his bowels may be filled with mercy…that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities… the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance."
In other words, He did it so He would know exactly how to help us.
Because He loves us.
It breaks my heart a little bit every time someone shares something they're going through and I can't do anything about it.
I'm a problem solver. I like to rack my brain and come up with solutions. To math problems, to work problems, and to social and emotional problems. So when literally all I can do is give someone a hug, or sometimes not even that, I feel like I'm not doing enough.
But what I learned this week is that the Atonement is real and the Atonement is powerful.
I simply cannot know how some of these people are feeling. And I hope to never have to feel some of those things. But Christ does know. Christ did feel them. All of them. And He overcame them.
So what does that mean for us?
He fought that battle. It's already been won. So for us, who are fighting whatever battles they may be: He knows the game-winning strategy. He knows exactly how to help us. And that's exactly what He's going to do.
And for those of us who are trying, and failing, to fight other people's battles for them: He is so grateful for you. He's grateful that you are willing to be a cheerleader for someone who needs it. He certainly didn't have a cheerleader when He was fighting the battle the first time. He was alone. So, when He sees us cheering on our brothers and sisters, I'm sure His heart fills with joy.
The victory is already theirs, but they don't always feel that way. So sometimes, they need a cheerleader. By cheerleader, I mean sometimes people just need a hug. Then you can leave the rest up to Him.
It doesn't matter how hard the battle you're fighting is. It doesn't matter how heavy the weight is. You could throw a 500 pound burden and Christ would catch it with ease. Because he already carried that and more. He's equipped to help. And more than anything else, He loves us with a pure and immeasurable love. That love is His motivating factor in all of this, in everything He's done.
So all we have to do is trust in Him. Nothing happens that isn't for our benefit. Nothing is too heavy for Him to help us carry. And there is never, ever, going to be a day when He decides He's done helping us get through our trials.
