Service, sealing and so many miracles!!!

Large Plates 

This was easily the busiest week of my mission.

What a wild week. I genuinely don't know how to express to you just how busy this week was. We always have stuff going on every hour of every day, so I didn't think it was possible to work overtime as a missionary. Apparently it is.

Also, I just want to preface this by saying that it really was a good week and I'm not complaining. There was just a lot going on and my brain definitely got overloaded, so I was very tired by the time the end of the week came around. I've also been sick which just added to the chaos of it all. I'm almost better now though!

We had tons of service projects this week, in addition to an overwhelmingly large teaching pool. We helped at the bishops storehouse, as we do every week. We also helped make some content for the mission Facebook page (keep an eye out for that next week!), and participated in the largest clothing drive I've ever seen. I don't remember the exact number, but we sorted and prepared about 15,000 clothing items to donate to people and charities. The service coordinator in our stake is incredible and I want to be like him when I grow up. It was a really fun project and we got to see almost all the missionaries in our stake which is always fun! It's pretty rare to have a service project big enough to need that many missionaries. I also don't know the exact number of missionaries that were there but I would guess it was almost 50. Seriously, it was so fun. 

We also got to go to a sealing this week!! It was such an incredible experience and it was really great to be able to go to a sealing here in Orlando because I'll be missing Avery & Haley's sealing later this month. The sealing was for some recent converts who went inactive years back but were reactivated by some missionaries a while back and finally made it to the temple this last month!! I'm so happy for them and it has been such a blessing to be able to see them progress and strengthen each other as they go. I love them both so much. 

I could go on and on about what went on this week, but there's just no way I could ever be able to articulate how crazy it was. So just imagine the craziest week ever, and then multiply it by 10. And then add a little bit. That's what my week was.

Small Plates

What it means to be an instrument in His hands.

So, what did I learn from a week such as this? 

God is in charge of His work. 

I'll be honest. I have felt really guilty, and dare I say inadequate, this week. Being sick really slowed me down and having so many service projects and member activities really filled up our schedule. I tried to have a good attitude about it all, and I think I did a good job, for the most part. But I still couldn't help but think to myself, often, that I needed to be in a lesson. I have apparently developed this mentality in the last few weeks that if I'm not in a lesson every possible moment of the day, I am not a successful missionary. 

This perspective is coming from a good place, but I've put too much pressure on myself and on this "ideal schedule" that I have fabricated for myself. Of course it's good to be in lessons. That's what missionaries do. They teach people. And where we have such a large teaching pool, it's good to be in lessons as often as possible so we're capable of keeping our friends progressing. 

But like I said, I think I took it too far. 

Or maybe it would be better explained by saying that I had anticipated that a greater portion of the control would have been mine. I thought my life was in my hands. I thought the progress of my people was in my hands. 

I had willingly and forcefully been putting extra weight on my shoulders. Weight that no one else asked me to bear. 

I got so worried that the momentum in this area was going to fall flat because I wasn't doing enough. 

And the worst part is, there was practically nothing I could do about it. I couldn't change our schedule. I couldn't change the timing of service projects. I couldn't just decide to stop being sick. 

I couldn't control the uncontrollable. 

So I didn't.

I was forced to live with exactly what I had been given (which is actually how it always is and always has been).

And guess what?

God's work carried on. 

Thursday night at a ward activity, we had the most incredible lesson with a man we met on Facebook. He is so prepared for this Gospel. He eagerly came to church last Sunday and he loved it. He had left his other church months ago because He felt like he was missing something there. He didn't feel like it was true. When he came to church, he felt the spirit. He felt that this is where he wanted to be. He changed his work schedule so he could come to our activity this Thursday. He already knew a little bit about the church, so he had a lot of really good questions for us. He loved everything we said. He loved that everyone in our church serves in a calling out of service instead of for payment. He loved that we have a prophet today. He loved that we baptize by authority. He loved the idea of Fast Sunday and fast offerings. He loved the word of wisdom. He loved everything. We didn't even get to explain the more fundamental concepts like the Restoration or the Plan of Salvation or the Gospel. He was so enamored with all of the selfless things that members of the church willingly and enthusiastically participate in, that he said he wants to be baptized in this church once he knows a little more. We introduced the Book of Mormon in simple terms and invited him to read the introduction during the week before we met with him again. He read the whole intro that night. He has such an open heart and he has been so perfectly prepared to hear this message. 

As if that miracle wasn't good enough, this Sunday was a huge day of miracles. Oscar was confirmed a member of the church and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. His confirmation was done by a recent convert who just received the Melquisedec Priesthood. Andres was sustained to receive the Aaronic priesthood. All of our new converts are progressing so beautifully. I love them so much. 

We also had a man named Daniel come to church today who apparently saw an ad for the church like 30 years ago and woke up this morning and decided today was the day he was going to go to church. From what I understand he doesn't live super close to our chapel, but he knew that's where he needed to be. He got there and one of the first people to talk to him was the ward mission leader. He explained a little bit about our beliefs, emphasizing that we have a living prophet and that Christ directs this church. He bore testimony that he knows this church is the true church on the earth today. Daniel loved it. He said that's what he has been looking for. Then, to add to his experience, it was a fast and testimony meeting. Time and time again, he heard members say with emotion in their voices, "I know without a doubt that this is the true church on the earth today."

The spirit was in that room. And our visitors felt it. We went to Sunday school after, and Daniel loves the Bible, so Come, Follow Me was so good for him. Our Sunday school teacher is one of the smartest women I've ever met and he loved her lesson so much. He downloaded Gospel Library in the middle of the class because he loved how our church gives its members so many resources.

To top it all off, the members did such a good job welcoming these people in. We had 8 new people in church yesterday. That's too many for us missionaries to handle gracefully. The ward welcomed them in like they had been there their entire lives. David ended up going to dinner at the Martinez families home that night. We stayed after church for over half an hour just talking to ward members, or rather, watching them talk to our friends and welcome them into the fold. 

I love this ward so much. I don't have the vocabulary sufficient to express the love I feel for them. My heart is so full. Sunday was exactly what I needed. My mind, body, and heart were all so drained and beaten down by the end of the week. I was convinced that we had failed. I had let our people slip out of my grasp. 

I put all of these burdens on my own shoulders, and then I was disappointed when I couldn't carry them all. 

I allowed myself to think that I was guilty, that I was even capable, of hindering God's work. But I'm not. He uses me for what He needs me for. And at the end of the day, it's actually up to Him to make the work move forward.

Because although He uses me as an instrument in His hands, He will always be the musician.