The saving and exalting grace that turns our pains into growing pains

Large Plates 

Disney, lessons, MLC, and a really good Sunday

Last pday, we went over to the Disney Boardwalk! We played Disney mini golf; I did a terrible job. After that, we just wandered around and looked at some stores and took in the views. We also went on the skyride and a boat tour, both of which were free!! I'm really starting to love this new district. They're all so kind and easy-going. Not a single person complained all day (except about the heat. We all complained about the heat), even though we were doing something that maybe not everyone wanted to be doing.  Everyone here in the Lake Reams District just has such a good heart. 

We also had MLC this week. It was really good to meet up with a bunch of my favorite missionaries again! We left MLC happy, but feeling a little inadequate too. There's a lot of room for improvement. But, I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and He will help our zone become what He knows it can be!

We also had some really good lessons this week. We talked about prayer with Hernan, and we're really hoping he will get more comfortable with prayer, to the point where he will pray to know if the church is true:)

We had a heart to heart with Germán and his family the other night, too. They really appreciate us and everything we are doing for them. They're still adjusting to everything that is going on in their new lives here, so it's hard for them to keep commitments like reading the Book of Mormon. We're really praying that they really start to progress, because we can already see that the gospel is blessing them and changing their lives.

We had another lesson with them this Sunday before church and it was so so good! We talked to them about how they have been changing and growing and how proud we are of them for all of the growth we have seen in them. We can literally see a change in their countenance. They are converted to this gospel and it's so exciting to see!!!

Then, we went to Sacrament meeting and it was AWESOME. The Schmeils were there for some reason, and the Elders spoke, and the Schmeils bore their testimonies in Spanish too! They don't even speak spanish haha. It was such a good sacrament meeting oh my goodness.

The rest of Sunday was kind of a blur. Some of the sisters we cover as STLs called us crying and asked if we could do an emergency exchange and go teach a lesson with one of them. One of the sisters is really struggling right now, and we're so happy she trusts us enough to reach out and ask for help. She's going to be okay. It was just a hard day for her. 

So, long story short, we met up with them at their appointment, I taught a lesson to strangers, without a lesson plan, and then we ate dinner together and brought a bunch of their stuff to our apartment. Me and Sister Rowell slept on the floor, and they took our beds. We're going to spend some time together for pday and it's going to be tons of fun!

Small Plates 

The saving and exalting grace that turns our pains into growing pains 

I learned a lot this week. I don't even know what I'm supposed to share with everyone this week. 

Well, for starters, maybe I ought to tell a little bit of the story of what has been going on back home for about the last month. About a month ago, our family got news that my grandma had pancreatic cancer. The doctors said there was no way to treat it, because it had already progressed from her pancreas to other organs. There was no way to preserve her life. They estimated she would have about 6 months left to live.

This was hard news to receive. I've still got a while left on my mission. I knew the day I heard this news that I would not be seeing my grandmother again in this life. And that there was nothing I could do about it. 

I did the best I could to come to terms with it all, and I was able to find some peace. She lived a long, happy life. And she did a lot of good for a lot of people while she was here. 

Shortly after I had first received this news, we had interviews with President Schmiel. He asked me about what's going on in my life and how I'm doing, and we talked for a while about my dear grandma. It was the first time I felt like I was able to have a real heart to heart with President Schmiel. He's really busy. And it's hard for him to get to know hundreds of missionaries, I get it. He shared some advice with me, and more than anything, he expressed his love and concern for me as an individual. The timing of it was perfect, and exactly what I needed. 

As the work went on here in Florida, the cancer kept growing back home. My grandma's health declined very quickly. About a week ago, they brought in Hospice care and said it would be a matter of days before she passed. 

That was tough. I saw her one last time on a call that night, and said my goodbyes. I don't know if she heard a word I said, but that's okay. My sweet mom got to listen in, and feel my love and hear my testimony. 

This last week has had a lot of ups and downs, but I've seen God's hand in all of it. It's been beautiful to hear my mom tell me about how this life event has brought her and her brothers closer together. I love my uncles so much. They are all such incredible men, and I'm so grateful they are a part of my life and that of my mom's.

The crazy thing about it is, my extended family hasn't all been living in Utah for very long. I had family in Vegas, or in Colorado, even way out in New Hampshire. It was pretty rare for a while to be able to get everyone together. But, in the last couple of years, each of their individual lives and circumstances have brought them back to Utah, and at just the right time. My grandma's cancer progressed so rapidly, that if they weren't all already in Utah, it would have been very difficult to get them together to be with her. God's plan can be subtle. But it is purposeful. He knows what is happening everywhere, and He knows what will be happening in the future. And He guides us to exactly where we need to be when we need to be there. 

Saturday night, after receiving the last update from home, I felt like that night might just be her night to go. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me sad. But I would also be lying if I said I felt alone, or hopeless, or frustrated. I felt peace. 

I woke up the next morning in a similar state of peace, and carried on with the work. We taught one of the most incredible lessons of my mission, and after the lesson was over, I saw that my mom had sent me an audio message. I knew, even without listening to it, what it said. And it was okay. After our lesson and English class, we went to sacrament meeting, which I've already talked a little bit about. My heart was filled with joy. I saw the Schmeils up there on the stand, and heard the Elders in my ward speak, and I felt like I was at home. Not at home, as in Logan. I felt like Florida was home. 

I haven't felt that way for a little while. Of course there's some days that are better than others. But this month has been one of a lot of changes. And it's strange. But it's so so good. 

Growing IS painful. Learning and changing and BECOMING. It's not easy. But if it hurts, that's a sign that you are growing. 

And growth comes from grace. Christ's Atonement gave us enabling grace. It gives us the grace we need to overcome. And it also gives us the grace we need to become. It's saving grace, and it's exalting grace. 

So, I guess that's what I learned this week. That life isn't always easy. But God's hand is in all of it. And Christ's grace is there for all of it. And that very grace is what helps us get through the hard times. And it's what helps us grow through what we go through! 

I know God loves me. I know He's aware of what I need. And He's aware of what those around me need. And that's exactly what He gives us. He gives us strength. He gives us opportunities to grow and change and become more like Him. And I'm so grateful for that.